Sitting on the toilet, the only true safe space in the world, where you can perform your ᴠᴜʟɴᴇʀᴀʙʟᴇ human functions without a care in the world. The thought of a snake weaving its way through your cistern, covering itself in pissy water, only to hide in the underside of the bowl to launch an ᴀᴛᴛᴀᴄᴋ on your ᴘᴇɴɪʟᴇ apparatus is a ʜᴏʀʀᴏʀ I can scarcely begin to comprehend.
One man forced to comprehend this ɢᴏᴅ-ᴀᴡꜰᴜʟ scenario was Attaporn Boonmakchuay, who had a ten-foot python ᴄʜᴏᴍᴘ ᴅᴏᴡɴ on his member in a squat toilet in Thailand. He reportedly ʟᴏsᴛ a lot of ʙʟᴏᴏᴅ in the ordeal, but is recovering well in hospital.
Attaporn Boonmakchuay was smiling as Thai television stations interviewed him in his hospital bed about the intimate ɪɴᴛʀᴜsɪᴏɴ, and doctors said he would recover. But photos of his ʙʟᴏᴏᴅ-sᴘʟᴀᴛᴛᴇʀᴇᴅ bathroom in Chachoengsao province, east of Bangkok, were testimony to his ordeal. “I felt as though my Pᴇɴɪs had been sᴇᴠᴇʀᴇᴅ. The snake was yanking very hard,” he told the Bangkok Post.
The 38-year-old sᴛʀᴜɢɢʟᴇᴅ to remove the snake for 30 minutes Wednesday before he managed to free himself with help from his wife and a neighbor. After his wife tied a rope around the snake, Attaporn pried open its jaws before ᴘᴀssɪɴɢ ᴏᴜᴛ.
Emergency workers removed the toilet while the python was still stuck there. The snake was then taken away to be released back into the wild.
Attaporn must have been ʜᴏʀʀɪꜰɪᴇᴅ to encounter the python in his toilet like that. He plans to replace his squat toilet with a proper one made of porcelain or something.
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